(Funny) Installing Husband?

A woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy ~

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, both of which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but nothing worked.

What can I do?

Signed,
_________________

Reply

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is a fulltime Operating System.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 .

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to SILENCE 2.5 or BEER 6.1 .
Please note that BEER 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the SNORING Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

To summarize, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it have a limited memory and cannot access new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

__._,_.___

Credit to Waqas

(Funny) Miss Malaysia Contest

One of the main reasons why in recent years the Malaysian Government
has always ensured that their Miss Universe representatives were of
tertiary level education or higher was because of the following
incident which occurred not too many years ago.

It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3
finalists, Miss USA , Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore were being
asked 3 simple questions:

MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with ‘L’
Miss USA : Lamp
Miss Singapore : Light bulb
Miss Malaysia : LADIO
Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter ‘L’

MC: I am going to give you 3 more chances; Now, name me an animal
starting with the letter ‘L’
Miss USA : Lion
Miss Singapore : Leopard
Miss Malaysia : LABBIT
Judge: No, no, no!

MC: Your next chance. The name of a famous car that starts with ‘L’
Miss USA : Lexus
Miss Singapore : Lamborghini
Miss Malaysia : Lolls-Loyce
Judge: Oh my God!

MC: I am going to give you one last chance! Name me a fruit starting
with the letter ‘L’
Miss USA : Lemon
Miss Singapore : Lychee
Miss Malaysia , with full of confidence, smiles and says: LIEWLIAN!!

This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the board of
judges to determine if Miss Malaysia
should really be disqualified ; and they decided that since Miss
Malaysia was having so many problems with
the letter ‘L’, they decided to give her another chance.

Judge: OK, the final question is : Name me a human anatomy starting
with the letter ‘L’
Miss USA : Lung (applause)
Miss Singapore : Liver (even more applause)
Miss Malaysia : LAN CIAU !

The Judges fainted..!!! “

(Funny) Muthu

Hello everyone, this story is just for fun. It doesn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feeling. Have fun yea!
* MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview….
“Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?”
Muthu replied: “P-O-S-T-B-O-X.”
*****

* MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, “Do I look
like a foreigner?”
Wife: “No! Why?”
Muthu: “In London, a lady asked me, ‘Are you a foreigner?’…that’s
why.”
Wife: ?????????
*****

*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his
village…and Muthu said .. “No sir, only babies were born here.”
*****

*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg
and told it to “WALK! WALK!” The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off its second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. Finally, he cut off its
fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn’t walk. Suddenly,
Muthu said loudly, “I found it. If we cut a cockroach’s four legs, it
becomes deaf.”
*****

*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was traveling with his wife in a motorized tricycle, the
driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, “You are trying to see my wife, eh?
Sit in the back. I will drive.”
*****

* MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin. Seeing this,
the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the signboard
“*WASH BASIN* ”
*****

*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER – FINAL PART*
Interviewer: “Just imagine you’re in the 20th floor of a building and
it’s on fire. How will you escape?”
Muthu: “It’s simple.. I will just stop my imagination.”
*****

At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why ????????????
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read “*PRESS*” pinned on
the right part of her blouse walked past him… and he did it!